


Conversations with Ashlyn

by staristired



Category: High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Gay Panic, High School, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Secret Crush, Slow Burn, T because EJ is going to swear a lot, but not a lot of it because that shit hurts, elos - Freeform, its me ofc there's goinna be angst, kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:27:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23558326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/staristired/pseuds/staristired
Summary: "You're a lot more mature than I thought.""I think it's because of you.""I am splendid.""Yeah. You are."-After Seb and Carlos inevitably break up, EJ runs to the rescue to make sure his favorite friend Carlos is doing good. Or like Ashlyn claims, suffocate him (with constant attention and gifts). A lot of questions regarding EJ's true identity get thrown up in the air along with his inner battle of feeling like even if he did like Carlos, he knows he could never be good enough for him. A jackass and internalized homophobia? Truly every gay man's dream. Luckily, when EJ and Carlos feel like they're at their worst (and they're going to have incredibly bad days), their ridiculously close physical proximity and ten hour conversations are sure to answer all of those questions and make them realize there is a little room to truly be themselves.
Relationships: E.J. Caswell/Carlos Rodriguez
Comments: 16
Kudos: 20





	1. Seed

**Author's Note:**

> Tyrus is the reason I see Seblos and go awww :) and then I see Elos and go YESS!!! YESSSSS!!! It's that mean person loves nothing but one (1) person thing. I still stan Seblos but since they're canon, I can enjoy the show and enjoy my own writing where Elos is canon. Seb is such a sweetheart though, and I'm actually sad I can't write him into this story.  
> Also I haven't had this big of a fanfic project since TJ's Playlist. I've had this fanfic written on sticky notes since EJ held Carlos' face in that one scene and then I cried with that one conversation about the compliment. That was all I had to get fed before coming up with this monster.  
> Speaking of monsters, EJ was a tiny monster and I hope I can give him a decent redemption arc because he deadass needs it. Since season 2 will probably take a longer to be done, here's to hoping this fic fills the void I feel.

EJ felt stumped. Everything following his breakup with Nini and the musical was just a mundane schedule of sports and senior class meetings that didn’t even excite him anymore. His coach told him he was most likely going to be the water-polo team MVP, and he didn’t even smile with his teeth. He had straight A’s fall semester, and he didn’t bother showing his grades to his parents. Nothing mattered when he thought about what kind of person people saw him to be.

Ashlyn told him he was getting depressed, and he scoffed. He said he was still in the breakup blues, and Ashlyn laughed at him. It wasn’t like EJ to be caught up after a girl for so long. He could say _it was Nini_ all he wanted, but even he didn’t believe it. He knew it was a lie.

What really just caught EJ off-guard was the feeling of not being able to control how others perceived him. He was cute, popular kid. But he was also _mean_. He was trying to be better, but he still felt like a rock faced entity walking around school in converse. It was a lot to process especially with graduation and college acceptances coming up. He told himself that these people didn’t matter, but after hanging out with the theatre kids most of break, he wanted to be a better friend. Mostly, to a few people.

EJ sat in his car afterschool three weeks after second semester had started. It was snowy, and he wanted to get home immediately. There was talk of a blizzard that night, and he hoped it would keep him out of school for a few days. But he had to wait for Ashlyn.

He scrolled through his Instagram feed for a while until Ashlyn finally showed up and came in. She was covered in layers of scarves.

“Were you with Big Red again?” he asked her.

“We were all in the music room,” she said, fastening her seat belt. “Where were you?”

“Here.”

“I know.” She sucked her tooth, rolling her eyes at him. “Why didn’t you go?”

“Didn’t feel like it. It’s not like it’s auditions anyways,” he said, turning on the car. He put the heat all the way.

“Wait,” Ashlyn said, reaching out to stop him from moving the car out of park. “Remember you owe me a favor?” EJ looked at her, smiling and batting her eyelashes. Her lipstick was a little smudged, so you know she had been kissed recently. “Don’t get mad.”

“What is it?” he sighed. But before Ashlyn could answer, the back door of his car opened, making him jump.

“Hey, guys,” Carlos smiled at them, hopping in. He kicked off the snow from his boots outside before closing the door as EJ gave Ashlyn a tight-lipped smile. “Ash asked you to give me a ride home, right?”

“Yeah,” EJ turned to him, eyeing all his layers. His blue puffer jacket made him seem a lot bigger than he was. “By Lenard street, right?”

Carlos nodded with a grin. “Exactly.” EJ didn’t say anything else and pulled out of the parking lot, making his way towards Carlos’ home. It was on the other side of town from him and Ashlyn’s homes. Usually, he was fine giving any of the theatre kids rides home. Even Seb who lived in the middle of nowhere. The only thing different about taking Carlos home is that Ashlyn had asked EJ if he had a _crush_ on him two weeks ago.

_They were sitting in EJ’s living room, watching random Parks and Recreation episodes when she just said it. “Do you like Carlos?” EJ shifted in his spot a little at the question._

_“Yeah. He’s cool.”_

_“No,” Ashlyn shook her head. Her voice was dead serious. “Like him, like him.” EJ turned to look at her, mouth fallen open at the question. That had never crossed his mind. Liking Carlos, like that, wasn’t a possibility in any dimension of the universe._

_“Ash,” EJ fake coughed to look away. “I’m not even bi.” He had dated girls before and kissed them. That means that if he liked a guy, he would be bi. But he didn’t like Carlos. Or any guy for that matter._

_“Sorry, I just,” she was searching for words. She usually knew what to say in every occasion, but even EJ was glad she was struggling to find words as too many things flashed through his mind. What would make her ask that? “You’re very different around him.”_

_“He’s just my bro.”_

_“You treat him like he’s the Queen, EJ.”_

_“As homies should treat homies.”_

_“Now you’re just being weird,” Ashlyn shook her head._

_“Weird? You just implied that I’m bi!” EJ’s voice was a lot more defensive than he intended it to be. Ashlyn frowned at him, not exactly thrilled that he was yelling and sitting two feet away from her._

_“I’m asking because I’m not the only one who sees it.”_

_“Big Red doesn’t count because he just agrees with you.”_

_“Seb.” Now that. That was different._

_EJ bit the inside of his bottom lip. He was quieter when asking, “What did he say?”_

_“He asked if you liked Carlos.”_

_“What did you say?”_

_“I said you were the straightest guy ever, and he said he was just wondering because… yeah.”_

_“Because what?”_

_“Because of how you treat him.”_

_“How do I treat him.”_

_“EJ!” Ashlyn was scratched her scalp. EJ could tell she regretted bringing this up. “I’m not going to pull out every receipt but there’s a lot.”_

_“I guarantee you they’re just normal things.”_

_“To you. To his boyfriend? You’re literally a threat.”_

_“I just play nice now,” EJ groaned, rubbing his face. When he tried to be nice, it would now be mistaken as flirting. Great._

_“You do,” Ashlyn tilted her head to the side. “But you do things for Carlos you wouldn’t do for anyone.”_

_“Like what!”_

_“Like when he tweeted he was craving pizza, and you got him some.”_

_“I brought some for everyone.”_

_“You got a private pizza for Carlos alone.”_

_“He works really hard.”_

_“Or at our cast sleepover, your sleeping bag was closer to his than Seb’s.”_

_“That’s literally nothing.”_

_“You guys talked for hours. I didn’t hear Seb talk once.”_

_“He was asleep.” EJ rolled his eyes._

_“Nuh-uh. He was listening to your guy’s entire conversation.”_

_“Not like we were doing anything wrong. We were just talking.”_

_“About some deep stuff, apparently.” Talking to Carlos was just easier than talking to anybody else._

_“I don’t even remember half the things we said. Seb has no reason to be worried. Carlos is just a good friend.”_

Carlos was a good friend to EJ. But after that conversation, reality was starting to hit him a lot harder than it should’ve. Ashlyn pushed down a domino, and they were all coming down in a long twisted line of patterns. Carlos was a good friend. Carlos was also sweet. He also smelled good and made EJ laugh a lot harder than what he should with those horrible jokes of his. He once stayed on Facetime with EJ for four hours doing homework with him and afterwards, all EJ could think about was the way he talked and how his hair scooped behind a headband. He looked _cute._

But Carlos didn’t make him feel like any of his girl crushes ever did. His girl crushes were easy to realize, a target on his mind, and he never went out of his way to impress them because he could get any girl he wanted. It was easy thinking about being with a girl, so he stuck to that. Meanwhile, liking Carlos would be another story. And he tried not to complicate it considering he already had a boyfriend.

It was just hard to ignore those thoughts and feelings. It was hard to accept that there’s probably a reason he feels so many electric shocks in his chest when Carlos walks into a room and no girl has ever done that to him. It was hard because if he accepted it, and he was bi, he still had to face the reality of Carlos being in a relationship.

So, he told himself every day that he didn’t have a silly crush on Carlos. They were just good friends.

“The snow is getting worse by the minute,” Ashlyn said, worried. She was looking at her phone. “Blizzard should be hitting in a few hours.”

“If not now,” Carlos said. “You guys can wait it out at my place if you want.”

“Nope,” EJ immediately said. “It’s okay. We’ll just rush home.”

“We?” Ashlyn turned to him. “I don’t feel like dying today. I’ll take your offer, Carlos.”

“Perfect,” he said excitingly. “I’m helping my mom cook today, so I’ll make sure you guys are well fed.”

“I’m gonna go home,” EJ said again.

Carlos ignored him. “Do you guys like orange rice? I can teach you how to make some.” EJ sighed, accepting the fact that he would be making orange rice with Carlos’ family. EJ didn’t like to counter Carlos which is why he always ended up doing what he wanted to do.

The trio got off at Carlos’ home and basically ran inside. It was too much so fast. Carlos let them put their coats and shoes in the closet and told them to sit in the living room while he searched for his mom. EJ had seen her once before. She was a short sweet lady who spoke English in a thick accent, but her smile surpassed any language barrier.

“This is going to be awkward,” Ashlyn told EJ as they sat on the red couch. The TV across from them was on a vintage TV stand with a crotchet napkin covering it, 90’s knick-knacks lined up perfectly.

“I feel like our worse conversations happen on couches,” EJ told her, staring at a glass figurine of a goose. It had a red ribbon around its neck, and it was positioned to kiss a donkey statue.

“They really do.”

“Anyways, I don’t like him. We’re all just friends hanging out.”

“Awe, you think of us as friends?” Ashlyn teased him.

“Honestly, I think you’re my only friend. The smile fell off her face, disappointed at EJ’s gloominess.

“Why are you so goth, EJ?” she asked him. Before he could say anything Carlos and his mom walked in.

“Hi,” she waved as she walked up to them. EJ and Ashlyn stood up, and she immediately pulled them into a group hug. “So nice to have you. Text your mama’s so they know you’re safe here. They can call me if they need to. Have Carlos give you my number,” she said smiling the entire time. Her energy was radiant, and it made EJ smile back, nodding.

“Thank you for having us,” Ashlyn told her.

“Yeah,” EJ jumped in, “thank you.” She waved it off and walked to her kitchen with Carlos who gave them two giddy thumbs up. EJ could hear his mom say _Y Sebastian?_

“I texted my mom when we were in the truck. Text yours.”

EJ rolled his eyes. “Fine.”

“I am not responsible for reporting you when your parents call my parents and they call me. You’re going to college. I’m not going to babysit you anymore.” EJ didn’t say anything and stuck his tongue out at her as he pulled out his phone to text his mom.

Carlos skipped into the room, carrying an entire Nintendo Switch setup. “Who wants to play Mario Party? My siblings are all stuck at their afterschool programs!”

Ashlyn and EJ looked at each other for a second, not understanding his smile. Ashly asked, “Isn’t that not good?”

“It’s wonderful,” Carlos sighed happily. “We don’t have to share remotes or the couch or the food.” EJ laughed at Carlos’ smile. EJ had a younger sister, but she was 7 years younger than him. Their worlds didn’t really collide.

EJ pointed at the Switch. “Need help setting it up?”

“Yeah,” Carlos handed it over, “can you do it?” EJ laughed again, nodding. He looked at Ashlyn for only a second, and he felt how hard she was observing him. He felt like a lab rat. He walked over to the TV, being careful with the figurines.

“Don’t move anything. Took me months to figure out the perfect, aesthetically pleasing arrangement.”

“Got it,” EJ ginned, looking behind the TV for the ports. “Are these all old?”

“They’re from when my parents got here like two and a half decades ago.”

“Crazy.”

“Crazy indeed,” Ashlyn said, poking fun at EJ’s comment. EJ took a deep breath, not letting anything rude slip his mouth. How was he supposed to be a perfect angel until the blizzard held up?  
-

The blizzard was still raging after dinner. Whatever mole was, EJ had just ate it and loved it. Ashlyn was too polite to say spicy things were off limits for her, so she drank four cups of water during the meal. Carlos’ mom poured each one happily. They all went to the living room floor afterwards, sat down and did their homework on the coffee table in the middle.

EJ heard Carlos’ mom on the phone with his dad for a while, but he didn’t know what they were saying. Carlos would turn back and smile, so EJ assumed it wasn’t anything bad. It sounded like teenage girl on the phone with her boyfriend.

“EJ what class is this for?” Carlos asked, scooting up next to him to look. Carlos never respected anyone’s personal space, but EJ couldn’t tell Ashlyn that as she glared at him from her corner of the table.

“Calc,” he answered, looking at him. Carlos scanned his paper a few times and then looked up at him, eyes meeting for a second before EJ looked away.

“Can you help me with pre-calc?” Carlos asked him. He had to look at him now.

He nodded confidently. “Yeah. Show me.”

“Yay,” Carlos clapped, “thanks!” He went to his backpack to take out a three subject notebook that was full of sticky notes. EJ had a 70 page wide ruled notebook, and he took the bare minimum of notes. Math was just his thing.

He looked up at Ashlyn who was pretending to be nose deep into _Jane Eyre_. He knew she was somewhat fuming inside and although it shouldn’t make him happy, it did just a very little bit.

EJ walked Carlos through a lot of problems he found easy, and Ashlyn went to the bathroom three times within that hour. It could’ve been all the water but a part of EJ was scared she was texting Seb and telling him things he shouldn’t be worried about.

Because even while doing pre-calc, Carlos still managed to sneak in bits of Seb and talk about how he was doing in the class and how he had to help him all the time. It made EJ’s heart twitch, but he continued to refreeze himself when his mind wandered a little too far for comfort.

It was 9PM when the blizzard stopped. By then, they were all done with homework and just watching a Spanish channel. Carlos said they weren’t allowed to change the channel because his dad always forgot the number or the remotes’ batteries would go missing when they needed it.

Carlos’ mom came into the living room, said something to Carlos in Spanish, and then walked into the living room. EJ wanted to know what she was saying really bad, and it was almost as if Carlos could read him completely.

“My dad is finally picking up the rest of the kids,” Carlos sighed. “This peace was wonderful while it lasted.” EJ and Ashlyn smiled at his dramatic arm flung over his head.

“Well, I think we should go now,” EJ said, standing up from his spot.

“Yeah, Carlos. Thank you so much for letting us stay,” Ashlyn said, going up to hug him.

Carlos smiled, “It was no problem at all. I loved having friends over without having my siblings steal them.”

“Maybe we’ll meet them next time,” EJ smiled at him.

“No thanks,” Carlos shook his head. “They already hoard all of Seb when he’s here. I don’t want them taking you guys, too.” EJ gave him a small mile before realizing that his mom was waving goodbye from the kitchen. She was still on the phone with Carlos’ dad.

EJ and Ashlyn suited up in their coats and boots before walking outside to EJ’s car. He turned the heat on immediately. He already missed the warmth from inside Carlos’ home.

“You really like him.”

“You really want to walk home.” EJ didn’t look at her, pulling the car out into the blanket of snow. School would definitely be canceled for the next day. Ashlyn and him didn’t say anything, and his radio wasn’t on either. It was the crushing of snow and the sound of the heater blasting that filled the car, but nothing seemed to be louder than the seeds Ashlyn had planted in his mind.

* * *

EJ woke up with a text from Ashlyn saying to check the theatre kid’s group chat. She knew he had it muted. It was always blown up with memes that he marked on read without looking at them, and he eventually got fed up and just silenced it.

He opened the chat and found that there was nothing but paragraphs. They were all about Seb. EJ quickly scrolled all the way to the stop, the messages starting at 9:33PM.

**Seb: Hello friends. The blizzard made our barn roof cave in. The animals are mostly okay, but the vet hasn’t gotten here yet. Not sure what’s going to happen just send good thoughts this way please <3**

Everyone sent “I’m so sorry” in various forms, offering help. Ashlyn’s neighbor was a vet and offered to reach out to her. Big Red said his dad’s company could help with reconstruction. Everyone else offered support for Seb.

EJ scrolled a little more. Two cows had to be put down. A little more. A horse had broken a leg, and it had to be put down. A little more. The chickens were all okay in their coop. A little more. The last calf was dug up and okay. A little more.

**Seb: I think we’re going to move to California**


	2. Food for Thought

Seb wasn’t lying. EJ knew he had no reason to be lying. His family’s barn did get torn down. But sometimes he exaggerated situations. But really. He was actually moving to California. His family had land over there but had been too attached to SLC to leave. Now they had no reason to stay.

The theatre kids were throwing Seb a going away party at Ashlyn’s place which seemed to be the party place for them. Ashlyn told EJ it would be a matter of time before they discovered how much bigger and entertaining EJ’s house was, and EJ hoped they wouldn’t figure it out. His house was ran by Girl Scout’s troops most of the time anyways.

EJ was hanging balloons that Nini and Ricky were blowing and handing to him. It wasn’t weird anymore, and he had stopped worrying about Nini a long time ago. Ricky seem to acknowledge that and was cool with him, way cooler than he was when he was with Nini. They weren’t on fist bump terms, but head nods seemed to be their thing.

EJ heard Carlos arrive loudly through the front door with a huge jug of horchata. Without saying anything, he dropped the balloon he had in Ricky’s hand and went to help Carlos who was visibly struggling. “Thanks,” Carlos smiled at him. “Big Red, can you help me bring in this pot of posole?” Big Red gave him a thumbs up and walked out with him. EJ put the jug in the kitchen, Ashlyn raising an eyebrow at him. He rolled his eyes and went back to putting up balloons. He really couldn’t do anything with her around.

They all continued to set up, waiting for Seb to arrive. Seb didn’t even know it was going to be a entire party, he was just told it was a final game night together. Carlos’ mom and Ashlyn’s dad had made a lot of food and deserts for them to eat, and they borrowed a long table from Ricky’s dad. It looked like a premature Friendsgiving, but it was for something sad. EJ always looked like he was in a bad mood, and he must’ve looked depressed there.

Gina and EJ were talking on the couch when Ashlyn screamed, “He’s here! Everyone hides!” Everyone scrambled to get in their places behind furniture, Carlos crouching right next to EJ. EJ swallowed his spit and dared to steal a glance of Carlos who was smiling widely. Carlos turned his to face EJ and stuck his tongue out at him, making EJ’s heart go wild and mind go blank. Before his brain could even turn on again, everyone jumped up and shouted, bring EJ back up to reality and not in a space where it was just him and Carlos.

“Surprise!” they all yelled. Seb screamed, putting his hands over his mouth. EJ didn’t hear what he said but everyone, Carlos in front, ran to go hug him in a huge group hug. EJ followed behind and joined them, people in the group already starting to cry.

“You guys haven’t even tasted my mom’s posole yet,” Carlos said, his voice cracking but trying to be funny. “Why are you guys crying?”

“You’re the one crying,” Gina poked fun at him, people laughing. It was too much at once, EJ felt. The whole party was a shaking blur of moments he didn’t feel like he was a part of. Nini starting karaoke. Kourtney saying it was her first time eating posole and everyone gasping. Ricky and Big Red singing the Big Time Rush theme song. People slow dancing when Ashlyn sang a slow song. EJ danced with Gina, watching Seb slow dance with Carlos. Carlos’ arms around Seb’s waist. Carlos smiling into the nook of Seb’s neck. EJ had to force himself to look away

-

“Agriculture is actually the number one industry in California,” Sebastian told them in the auditorium. EJ sat on the stage, far away from everyone and listening. He watched everyone cry, taking in Seb’s final moments at East High. “I’ll be making a curve for LA, though. So, you guys have a place to crash when you come to California.”

“You’ll do amazing there, Seb,” Nini said from somewhere in the middle of the group hug. EJ looked to the side and saw Ricky hop up to sit on the stage, too. He wasn’t crying, but he wasn’t happy either. He felt just like he did, EJ figured. He wasn’t exactly the closest to Seb. EJ wasn’t close to a lot of them in there, but he was still sad to see him go. Again, despite what Ashlyn would say.

_“Please tell me you’re not going to shoot your shot at Carlos now because Seb is leaving,” Ashlyn told him. She went over to his house a few days after the blizzard. EJ didn’t say anything, but he just looked up at her and frowned._

_“I wouldn’t do that either way,” EJ told her. “I am straight.”_

_“If you say so.”_

_“Well I do say so, Ashlyn.”_

_“You’re going to smother him.”_

_“No, I’m not.”_

_“Yes, you are. You’re going to want to swoop in and make him feel better for your own personal gain.”_

_“How is trying to help others for my own personal gain, Ashlyn,” EJ asked, annoyed and turning red at the forehead. She was infuriating._

_Ashlyn held up her hands in defense. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” EJ sighed and leaned his head back, staring at the high ceiling. She said after a moment of silence, “I’m going to miss Seb.”_

_“I am, too.” He meant it._

Seb’s dad picked him up in a truck in the school parking lot, and they all stood by him before he got on, giving him final hugs. EJ gave him a one armed hug and muttered a _bye,_ Seb smiling at him with watery eyes. EJ took a deep breath when Seb let go of him and went to hug Ashlyn then Gina then Miss Jenn and so on until he finally hugged Carlos who was crying. EJ tapped Ashlyn on the shoulder and told her he was going to wait for her in his car, and she waved him off. The last thing EJ saw was Seb’s dad getting off to hug a couple of the kids goodbye.

EJ didn’t breathe until he was in the safe space of his car. He pressed his forehead against his steering wheel and hummed a song to himself. It wasn’t any song in particular, at least one that he could name. It was just comforting to sing to himself sometimes when nobody was watching.

He stopped when his car door opened, and he could hear Ashlyn slide inside. It was a few seconds before he opened his eyes and sat up. He looked at her and she was still wiping tears away. “It’ll be okay, Ash,” he told her.

“I know,” she gave him a thin smile.

“Do you want to go get food? My treat,” he told her. She rolled her eyes because he always offered to get her food when she was upset. She still nodded though, and EJ took off. “Did Seb say anything about visiting?” he asked as they left the school parking lot.

“He said maybe for the holidays to see extended family unless their family goes to California instead.”

“I would go to California.”

“Me, too.”

EJ couldn’t help but ask, “How’s Carlos? I haven’t talked to him lately.”

Ashlyn sounded surprised when she asked, “Really?”

“Yeah. Too much has been happening.”

“Well, they broke up so he’s going through a breakup.” EJ gripped his steering wheel.

“No long distance?”

“Carlos said they agreed they were too young to get caught up in a long distance relationship at this age. They weren’t together for that long either way. What. Two, three months?”

“Around there.”

“So yeah. That’s the update on Carlos.”

“Thanks.”

“Don’t hit on him.”

“I won’t,” EJ gave a fake laugh. “Did Seb ever say anything else about me?”

“No,” Ashlyn said. “You’re not that important, you know.”

“Rude. I was just asking because of what you said.”

“I know,” she giggled. “It’s fun to make fun of you, though.”

“Hilarious.”

“But honestly, I think he just asked Carlos about it because he never brought it up again. Did Carlos start talking to you less?”

“Not really. I mean, usually I’m the one who hits him up for stuff.”

“What kind of stuff?”

“I don’t know. We just talk.”

“About what?”

“Stop being so nosy. It’s nothing important.” He stopped for a moment before giving in and saying, “He’d talk about Seb a lot.” EJ realized most of what he knew about Seb wasn’t even through Seb himself. It was through conversations with Carlos.

“For hours?” Ashlyn didn’t seem to believe him. Carlos didn’t talk about Seb for hours but there were good chunks of him there. That’s a lot of what EJ mostly registered.

“Sure.”

“EJ Caswell, what are you hiding?”

“Literally nothing. Stop interrogating over something that doesn’t matter.”

“So, Carlos doesn’t matter?”

EJ unlocked the car and said, “Duck and roll, please.”

“Maybe later.”

-

EJ hadn’t texted Carlos in a while. Whatever that space Ashlyn said he should give him was there. But he felt bad. He knew he was sad and although he didn’t see him in school often, he saw him linger through the hallways looking really upset.

EJ was talking to Noah from water polo when he saw Carlos walk by a Thursday after school. He was alone. “Hey,” EJ gave Noah a fist bump, “I have to go. I’ll catch you later.” Noah threw a peace sign and went his own way as EJ rushed to catch up with Carlos. Carlos turned to EJ, and smiled at him, surprised to see him.

“EJ,” Carlos said, “I haven’t heard from you in a bit.”

“Yeah,” EJ shrugged, lying. “Senior year stuff.”

“That’ll be me next year,” Carlos signed, continuing to walk and stare at the ground. EJ looked at the side of his face, watching Carlos think about who knows what. He seemed to just be walking absent mindedly.

“What are you doing right now?” Carlos found himself asking. Ashlyn didn’t have to know.

“Walking home.”

“Need a ride?” EJ asked him.

Carlos looked at him and smiled. “That would be great. Is Ash coming?”

“Ashlyn went home early today,” EJ told him. “If you don’t want to come with jus-,”

“We’re friends,” Carlos told him, making EJ’s face deflect his previous jokester smile.

“Oh,” EJ said, scrambling for vocabulary, “I forgot.” Carlos laughed and kept walking, EJ having to take two big steps after to catch up after he froze for half a second. Carlos wasted no time ever. “Do you want to go get fries at Elmo’s? My treat.”

“I could use some grease right now,” Carlos nodded. “Why not.” EJ smiled at him again, knowing Ashlyn would be so mad at him. In a way, it made hanging out with Carlos much more fun than what it already was. It was nice to have a friend he didn’t have to be tough all the time for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the title to Conversations with Ashlyn because Ashlyn really is going to be a central character here, and I wasn't feeling Caving In.


	3. Money So Tall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you read this chapter just know I have this very strong headcanon that EJ has Nicki Minaj's Monster verse memorized.

EJ and Carlos got to Elmo’s where high school kids tended to go to after school. EJ waved hello to a couple of groups of people, Carlos note paying attention to them. They sat down at a booth, right across from each other. For a minute, they sat there in silence. Carlos stared at his reflection in the napkin dispenser while EJ watched him.

“Do you come here often?” EJ found himself asking. He forgot how to talk for a minute, and those were his first words. His chest swelled up with hot embarrassment as Carlos scanned his face, like he was unable to recognize him.

Carlos blinked a couple of times. “Sorry, what?” EJ took it as a do-over.

“Do you like Elmo’s? I should’ve asked before we got here,” EJ realized mid-sentence. He tended to just pick wherever with Ashlyn because frankly, he didn’t care what she was craving.

“Definitely,” Carlos nodded. “Their curly fries are the best.”

“Are you the type of person that tips their fries in milkshakes?”

“Oh god no,” Carlos said, his face scrunched in disgust and made EJ laugh. “I’m sorry if you are but I really don’t understand that.”

“Me either, to be honest,” EJ said while smiling down at his folded hands. He was sitting like an elementary school teacher was about to dismiss him for recess. “So, how are you?”

Carlos let out an obviously fake chuckle. “How do you think? You’ve been through a breakup before.”

“Yeah,” EJ stretched out the word. “I can imagine.” Carlos let out a sigh and took off his glasses to rub his eyes with his fingertips. EJ watched him cautiously, sitting completely still.

“Sorry for being a little off,” Carlos told him. “I really appreciate you bringing me here.”

“Of course,” EJ nodded.

“Seb and I never ate here together so it’s perfect,” Carlos smiled, picking up a menu EJ didn’t even notice was brought over. EJ picked up the second one even though he already knew what he wanted.

“Order what you want, I got you like I said,” EJ said.

“It’s fine I have money.”

“So, do I,” EJ looked at him and gave him a small smile. Carlos looked at him with his lips puckered to the side, watching EJ’s face. EJ could feel himself start to sweat under his gaze.

“Fine but I got us next time,” Carlos said, looking back at his menu. EJ sighed in relief.

“Sounds good to me.” The boys ordered their food, and when they got their drinks, EJ reached for his straw.

“You’re using a straw?” Carlos gasped loudly. EJ looked at him wide-eyed before Carlos laughed. “Just kidding. I don’t care. Metal straws make everything taste horrible.”

EJ laughed nervously. “Yeah, they do,” he agreed. EJ slowly brought down the wrapping of his straw, crumpling it all in one piece like an accordion. “Look,” EJ told Carlos before putting a tiny drop of Dr. Pepper on top of the paper with his straw. The paper started to grow out. “Like a worm.”

“Gross,” Carlos said, not taking his eyes off it.

“My dad would do this when I was little every time we went out to eat, and I thought it was the coolest thing ever,” EJ laughed, wiping off the wet paper worm with a napkin.

“Do your parents exist?”

Ashlyn would say EJ laughed a little too loudly at that moment. “Yeah. Why?”

“I’ve never seen them.”

“Even during the High School Musical play?”

“Nope. I was too busy helping Ashlyn with her afterparty to see anything.”

“What a fun afterparty,” EJ smiled.

“Right?” Carlos smiled, looking dreamily up at the ceiling. “Right when my life was perfect.” Carlos looked at EJ again. “Sorry I’m sad and dramatic. I’m gay, I can’t help it.”

“It’s all good,” EJ grinned, looking Carlos right in the eyes. Carlos smiled back, and EJ had to sit back, trying to completely erase the incoming questions of why Carlos made him react like that.

Carlos asked him in an attempt to change the subject, “Do you play video games?”

“FIFA. Stardew Valley-,”

“You play Stardew Valley?”

“I like the dungeons,” EJ said, hesitating to add, “and the plot.”

“What, you’re a communist?”

EJ raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“I’m joking,” Carlos laughed, amused by himself. “You probably went the Joja Mart route, though, huh?”

EJ shook his head, “Nope. I could never do that to my fake grandfather.” Carlos smirked and EJ knew he was about to say something he’s rehearsed before.

“I most definitely could.”

“What?” EJ said in dramatic shock. “You? Carlos? Sweet, sweet Carlos?”

“I want to see the dialogue.” Carlos shrugged, taking a sip from his drink.

EJ pretended to drink his Dr. Pepper before managing to ask, “Who did you marry?”

“Alex,” he said without hesitation.

“A jock?” EJ asked, almost quietly.

“I was the farmer in that relationship,” Carlos said. “Who did you marry? Abigail?”

“How did you know?” EJ tilted his head to the side.

“Your type seems to be,” Carlos quoted in the air with his fingers, “‘I don’t know she’s just so different.’” EJ let out a loud laugh, Carlos laughing at his own joke again.

“Get out of here.”

“I’ll take my food to go, then,” Carlos said. EJ could see texts from Ashlyn coming in from the corner of his eyes, but he was happy living in a grease filled bubble with Carlos for just a little bit longer.

* * *

Ashlyn was pissed. She wouldn’t look at EJ at school, and when there was a theatre meeting during lunch, she didn’t even acknowledge him when he was speaking. Everyone thought it was a game and started ignoring EJ, too. Even Carlos.

EJ didn’t care that much, though. The actions that led to his consequences were well worth it for a few days of the silent treatment. Knowing Ashlyn, it would be less.

_She had been texting EJ and asking for his location the entire three hours he was at Elmo’s with Carlos. He ignored his phone, put it on silent at one point, and didn’t bother to think about Ashlyn or anything she had ever told him. If it was for his preferred life story, his dad was an only child and there were no other Caswell legacy heirs besides him and his sister._

_Once EJ was home, he replied with: Just dropped Carlos off at his house. Why?_

_Ashlyn didn’t say anything and EJ knew that he was going to get a knock at his front door later. To his misfortune, he was correct like always and he was home alone, so nobody was there to distract her. He took a deep breath to prepare himself before opening the door._

_Ashlyn immediately started pointing a finger and scolding him, “So let me get this straight,-“_

_“Wait I’m the rookie,” EJ interrupted her, turning around to run up his stairs. Ashlyn shut the door and ran right behind him, skipping stairs to catch up to him._

_“You can’t rap your way out of this one. We’re white! We shouldn’t do that to begin with!” Ashlyn yelled, now chasing EJ down the hall. “EJ Caswell!” EJ was laughing, but he eventually tripped on a bump on the rug, causing him to crash on the floor and land on his elbow. Ashlyn gasped and ran up to him._

_“Ow,” he winced in pain, holding his hand to his elbow. “Ashlyn, look what you did,” he said from down on the floor._

_“You took Carlos out?!” Ashlyn yelled at him. EJ smiled again._

_“But my features and my shows-,”_

_“EJ!” she yelled. She was really mad. She wasn’t one to raise her voice at anyone ever. Just him._

_EJ whispered, “Ten times your pay.”_

_“Are you going to take me seriously or do I just leave. Tell me now. I’m tired.” EJ felt bad about how red and irritated Ashlyn was, so he sat up and looked at her, waiting to get lectured. “Thank you. Also, why? Why are you doing this?”_

_“I took him out to eat lunch like friends. Friends do that,” EJ explained, looking at the photos of him and his little sister on the wall. Ashlyn and her had a resemblance which made it harder to wander off._

_“You’re dumb, EJ,” she shook her head. Ashlyn then took a moment and sat on the floor._

_“Why are you so against me hanging out with him?” EJ asked her. “I don’t even like him.”_

_“You say things and they don’t mean anything.”_

_“So do you.”_

_“Guess it’s a Caswell thing,” Ashlyn rolled her eyes. She tucked a loose curl behind her ear, watching EJ tie his shoe that he just untied himself. “It’s just weird. Seb asked if you had a thing for him and I said no, and what do you do right after Seb leaves? Take him on a date.”_

_“Is this about me making you look bad?”_

_“You always make me look bad.”_

_“No, I don’t,” EJ scoffed. “If anything, I make you look better. Who are you? Ashlyn. But when they hear Caswell,” EJ waved his fingers around his face, “me. Cool and handsome. Now you’re not a nobody.” Ashlyn stood up, her frown huge on her face._

_“Okay, I’m done here,” she said, walking away from him_

_“Ash!” EJ said, not bothering to stand up. “You know I didn’t mean that.”_

_“You’re just like our fathers!” Ashlyn told him, now going down the stairs. EJ didn’t flinch, even when the door shut tight behind her, echoing through the empty house._

_“But my money so tall,” he mumbled off the rest of the words he forgot. He stared at his baby picture on the wall again and wished he could be that clueless again._

EJ left water polo practice smiling. He had plans to go straight home and take a nap, wake up and eat whatever his mom was making, and then finish his one assignment he had due. It was one of his least busy days in a long time.

Then he got a phone call from his mom. “Hello?” he answered.

“Angel,” she told him. “Can you give Ashlyn a ride to our house? Your Uncle Malachi said she was still at school.” EJ groaned.

“Why doesn’t she just ask me?”

“Because you guys are fighting apparently. What is it? Six times this year already? Don’t be stubborn and pick her up. Okay? Bye. Love you,” she quickly said before hanging up. EJ was now back to his usual resting bitch face, and he texted Ashlyn saying he’d be in his car.

He sat there, singing under his breath and drumming on his steering wheel. He had no idea what Ashlyn was doing at school so late. She walked out into the parking lot and went into his car completely silent. Her seatbelt clicked in, and EJ started his car and drove out.

She was on her phone the entire time, just scrolling on Instagram from what EJ saw when he glanced at her. Their little feuds lasted a week at the longest and then they always reset. Their parents were used to it and stopped making them talk about their feelings like they did when they were much younger. They mostly gave up when EJ became a moodier and meaner teenager, but Ashlyn would always carry that conflict resolution expert tag on her forehead. It ticked him off, but he also thought it was funny sometimes.

“So, you’re not going to talk to me?” EJ asked her. Sometimes she spoke first. Sometimes he did. It usually was who fucked up the most.

“So, you’re not going to apologize?” she asked. She didn’t even look up from her phone. EJ sighed and stayed silent for another moment, the radio host talking about a Disneyland ticket giveaway.

“I’m sorry,” he told her. “For you know, saying you’re only cool because you’re my cousin.”

“And?”

“And?”

“You know. Going behind my back and taking Carlos out for food. He told everyone.”

EJ smiled. “Did he?”

“EJ!”

EJ groaned. “Fine. I’m sorry for being a good friend to our friend?”

“I’ll take it.”

“Want to get frozen yogurt before we get to my house?”

“Sure. Why are we going to your house anyways?”

“No big deal. Averie’s birthday.”

“She’s your little sister, you jerk,” Ashlyn told him.

“The house will be roaming in Girl Scout’s.”

“I will be hanging out in your room, then.”

* * *

EJ was doing his one assignment at his desk while Ashlyn laughed at random TikToks on his bed. They took their plates of food up to his room and sat there and listened to music. It was nice to not have Ashlyn mad at him. He didn’t exactly feel good about himself already and Ashlyn being mad at him for something that brought him a few hours of joy made him feel worse. But he wouldn’t tell her that. She’d just over analyze him, and he hated being told about his personality.

He finished his assignment and put it away, going over to lay down on his bed. He had a California king, and him, Ashlyn, and his little sister would always go on it and turn on his projector, putting a movie on the ceiling. He was going through Snapchat stories when he got a Facetime call. His breath hitched. Carlos.

“Who is it?” Ashlyn asked. When EJ didn’t say anything, her mouth dropped open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not too happy with the quality of this chapter, but I forget I'm not doing this for a grade. Hope y'all are staying safe.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave kudos or comments! I always reply to everyone and answer questions :) Thank you so much for reading.


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